The Borrowed Closet

When I was younger, I always wanted a sister. I imagined a playmate that would share my enthusiasm for dolls and dress-up and all things girly that my brothers vehemently eschewed. I imagined a confidante who would stay up late with me in a neighboring bed sharing giggles and gossip. And I imagined somebody who I could fight with over a shared wardrobe, just like sisters always seemed to do on television. Alas, ’twas not to be.

By the time I was in high school, however, I realized I didn’t really need a sister.

I had my mom instead.

I know that parents who try to be friends with their children rather than authority figures is kind of a cultural flashpoint, but my mama really has always unequivocally been both my mother (I definitely did not call her by her first name) and my best friend. And now that I’m an adult and can understand so much more of who she is as a person, I feel even closer to her and depend upon her advice and wisdom that much more.

One of the great side benefits of having such an awesome mom is that there is a lot of overlap in our aesthetics and sense of style, and she’s always happy to let me raid her closet.

This weekend Yubo was out of town for work so the kids and I spent most of the weekend at my parents’ house, and my mama was kind enough to let me borrow this chic Carolina Herrera coat, her favorite Marni purse, and this black cashmere turtleneck. I feel really lucky to be able to wear such nice things, most of which would be out of my reach otherwise, and I know my mama likes to see me wearing her clothes. That’s the nice thing about borrowing from your mom rather than your sister. My mama never resents me for borrowing her clothes, and – at least on TV – sisters seem to get mad about that sort of thing.

My poor dad, on the other hand, always goes a little bug-eyed when he sees me making off with something of my mom’s. I think he worries I won’t come back with it, but I really always do!

Anyway, I wore this outfit to work today and then to pick up the children from school. It was really cold in the morning and looked like it was going to rain, but by the time I left work it was hot and sunny. I was kind of dying in the jacket and turtleneck while taking these pictures.

At work today I taught my students how to respond to other people’s ideas in a persuasive essay and how to transition from other people’s ideas to your own and from one topic to another. I created a handout on responding and then wrote a sample paragraph on health care reform. They were asked to break apart the paragraph, identifying transition words and phrases and labeling different parts of the paragraph (i.e. topic sentence, analysis, counter-argument, etc.). Then they were given time to work on their own essays (while hopefully practicing some of these transitioning skills). I was really kind of proud of the whole lesson, and from the questions I was getting while the students were working on their papers, I felt like they were getting what I was trying to teach them.

So that was fun!

I find that I really, really enjoy teaching. I guess even though I always wanted to teach in some capacity, I didn’t really know if I would like it or be good at it. It’s nice to finally be doing something that feels like it fits.

Coat: Carolina Herrera navy wool and cashmere peacoat (from my mama’s closet)
Top: Neiman Marcus black cashmere turtleneck (from my mama’s closet)
Vest: Moyna lace vest from Anthropologie (old)
Jeans: Pilcro skinny jeans from Anthropologie (old)
Shoes: Modcloth wedges
Purse: Marni (from my mama’s closet)
Accessories: pearl necklace (gift from grandmother), dogeared heart necklace
Nail Polish: essie licorice and deborah lippmann shake your groove thing
Lipstick: Cle de Peau Lipstick 16 and Chanel Gossimer Wild Rose (119)

Weather Confusion

It feels as if LA can’t decide whether it wants it to be winter – cold and blustery with rainclouds perpetually threatening – or spring. The flowering trees and bushes in front of our house are in full, triumphant bloom. This weekend and yesterday were balmy in the high 70s. Today, however, was cold. (But, you know, LA-cold, which is, um, in the 50s? Don’t laugh. I’m an Angeleno. It’s my right to complain when the weather dips below 65 degrees.)

So, anyway, this is all to say that even though I was wearing a coat and a scarf today, I was very cold. I really don’t like being cold! This is the whole reason why I can’t move away from Los Angeles, and then it has to go play this dirty weather trick on me.

Harumph.

Enough about the weather, yes? This is what I wore to work today to conference with students. This skirt I’m wearing is pretty awesome. I love the little white leather circles that are sewn in layers on the skirt panel. It feels fun and feathery (alliteration!). And I was so excited that all I needed for work today was a folder full of essays and a purse. Usually I’m dragging several folders, a few books, maybe my laptop, various school supplies, plus all of the stuff that always goes in my purse.

After work, I went to pick up my boys at school.

I’ve set up a new points/rewards system for my eldest son so he was all eager to get home and start his homework. It was rather entertaining.

Basically, he gets a point (indicated on a calendar by a sticker) for fulfilling various responsibilities; homework and piano practice are the main ones, but he can also get points for reading a book or doing extra math worksheets or being caught doing something particularly good. I thought about adding points for doing chores such as setting the table or cleaning up his toys or making his bed, but he’s still at the age where he’s really eager to help around the house so I figured if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

The points he earns can be exchanged for limited amounts of “screen time” (TV or games on the ipad) or other small rewards. He seems pretty motivated.

Most days I have to do quite a bit of cajoling to get him to start on his homework and practice piano, but today he had done everything within an hour of getting home. An hour after that, he had done 4 pages of a math workbook and read a book. I had to insist that he stop and go play.

Coat: Burberry (also worn here)
Shirt: Mikkat Market (also worn here and here)
Skirt: Zara white leather skirt
Tights: J.Crew
Shoes: Modcloth
Bag: Modcloth
Accessories: Esprit outlet scarf (old), silver bow hair clip (gift from my mama), Herkimer diamond earrings from Principessa (gift from Yubo), Dogeared heart necklace
Nail Polish: essie licorice and deborah lippmann shake your groove thing
Lipstick: NARS Jungle Red lip liner and Red Lizard lipstick

Blue Bow Belt

I was up for a good chunk of last night with my youngest son who came down with stomach flu yesterday so I had a hard time waking up this morning. I finally dragged myself out of bed about 10 minutes before I usually leave the house for work so I had barely enough time to throw on some clothes and dash out the door. I did my makeup in the car (does it make it better if I tell you I save my eye makeup for red lights?) and, to my dismay, I got a parking ticket at school today because in the rush this morning I had forgotten to switch my pass from my husband’s car, which I drove yesterday, to my car.

So yes, wrong side of bed today and all that.

Still, I absolutely love my job; it’s hands-down the most rewarding and enjoyable job I’ve ever had so this morning wasn’t a complete wash in the least. I started one-on-one conferencing with my students on their papers this morning as well, and that’s one of my favorite parts of teaching writing. You can do so much with a student one-on-one that just isn’t possible in a large group.

Except for brief periods where I wanted to be a ballerina (tutus! need I say more?), a singer (I have had a longtime and ongoing infatuation with female singer-songwriters), and a lawyer (like my mama!), I’ve really always wanted to be a teacher. I adored nearly all my teachers growing up, and the idealist in me has always wanted to do something that made a difference in the world for good. In my last year of college I was actually applying to teaching credential/education MA programs with the goal of becoming a high school English teacher, but the birth of my first child sort of derailed those plans. In the past several years, I’ve tried a few other careers, but nothing seemed to fit. So it makes me really happy now to be doing something that I not only believe in, but I really, really enjoy.

Since I was in such a rush this morning, I wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular when I threw my outfit together this morning, but I like how it ended up. I nearly always try to buy clothes that I know I can mix and match with other items in my closet. You know those magazine articles that show how you can wear one shirt 5 different ways? That’s how I think when I shop. If I can’t imagine several ways an item can be worn then it really has no business in my closet to begin with.

I’ve never really worn belts before this year so I’m hesitant to buy them because I’m not always sure how or what to wear them with. This little blue bow belt was an impulse buy last year during one of Nordstom’s big annual sales, and I almost regretted buying it after it hung in my closet unworn for months afterward. Lately, though, I think I’m getting the hang of this whole belt thing.

I think belts and other accessories are great ways to incorporate trends without a big commitment. For instance, neon colors are really big right now, but no matter how much I love these uber-popular neon bags from The Cambridge Satchel Company, I can’t afford to spend that much on something that I’m not ready to commit to wearing for the next 10 years at least. But this neon yellow belt from J.Crew? I think I could splurge on that (maybe next month though?), and I know I could wear it a ton of different ways. And then the canvas bag I’m wearing from fieldguided is a nice little nod to neon without being totally overwhelming or breaking the bank.

I’ve talked about this before, I think, but that’s part of why I really like nail polish as well. Not only is nail polish just plain fun, but it’s an easy, low-commitment way of incorporating bright and silly colors. I don’t like manicures (I know, I’m weird) so I buy my own polish and paint my nails myself. It’s not always never super perfect, but I feel better about buying one new nail polish color a month than I would about getting a manicure every few weeks.

My mama, however, is always a little appalled by my nail color choices, I think. I admit that perhaps I take a little teeny bit of pleasure in her mildly disapproving “tsk tsks” though. Maybe in another ten years I’ll have completely grown out of this little bit of post-teenage rebellion.

And then on the opposite spectrum are my pearls, a wedding gift from my grandmother, that I know I’ll be wearing when my own grandchildren are getting married. My grandmother originally bought me a very, very long string of freshwater pearls, which she then had split into two lengths – the long one I’m wearing now with a pearl shortener clasp (also a gift from my grandmother) that makes it a few inches shorter than it would be otherwise – and a choker length necklace that I wore on my wedding day. As a set I can wear them so many different ways.

Shirt: Mikkat Market (also worn here)
Dress: laurie b. cashmere and tulle shift, worn as skirt (also worn here)
Tights: J.Crew
Shoes: J.Crew
Bag: fieldguided
Accessories: Nordstrom blue leather skinny bow belt (similar at Forever 21), Forever 21 bow hair clip (old), pearls (gift from grandmother) worn with pearl shortener clasp (similar here), Herkimer diamond earrings from Principessa (gift from Yubo)
Nail Polish: essie turqoise and caicos
Lipstick: NARS Dragon Girl Velvet Matte Lip Pencil

Sheer Sleeves

I hope you are all having a nice weekend. Yubo and the children have Monday off for President’s Day so they will be going to visit my in-laws tomorrow, but I still have class tomorrow.

This morning I took my eldest to a play date and then drove him to piano. He’s been taking piano for about a year and he loved it for the first six months or so after which the novelty faded and it set in that learning and, more to the point, practicing piano is hard work. Hard work that is often tedious and repetitive, even when you like your teacher and your mom is a super awesome home coach (of course!).

He doesn’t actively hate it, but he does drag his feet about practicing and would definitely rather have spent his Sunday afternoon setting up a lemonade stand at his friend’s house than forcing his left hand to coordinate with his right hand on the keyboard. Still, once he starts playing, he seems happy enough and the sense of pride and accomplishment on his face when he’s mastered a new song or performed at a recital is pretty priceless.

Regardless, I’ve tried to present piano in the same way I present school. Does he sometimes want to stay home and play with his legos rather than go to school? Yes, but school is not a choice. Same goes for piano: piano is not a choice. I’m sure some people might think that’s kind of harsh, but I truly believe that music and, ideally, learning an instrument, should be a part of a well-rounded education. My children are fortunate enough to have grandparents who offered to support their private lessons, and I feel blessed that my parents wanted to give that to them.

I certainly don’t expect my children to become concert pianists or to play at Carnegie Hall or even start a garage band (though if that’s what they want, I’ll be there in the front row cheering them on), but I do want them to understand and appreciate music and be able to have music as a creative and emotional outlet. I know that there are cognitive benefits to learning an instrument as well, but mostly I just think that music is a gift that they will have their whole lives.

That said, it would be nice if he just wanted to practice everyday without complaint!

This shirt I’m wearing was a gift from my friend Katherine of Mikkat Market. It’s probably not something I would have chosen myself, especially with my super hesitant online buying issues, but I really, really love it now. It’s so versatile – I can dress it up like this or wear it with a tank and jeans. I can layer over it or show off the pretty, pretty sleeves. Speaking of the sleeves, they’ve got an almost Renaissance thing going on, and thus make me inordinately happy.

I just recently learned that its some odd fashion rule that you’re not to mix black and brown (is this like not wearing white after Labor Day?), which I think is absolutely ridiculous as black and brown look perfectly lovely together. It all depends on what particular pieces we’re talking about, I think. Anyway, obviously, I’m mixing black and brown and taupe and grey so I hope that the fashion gods do not come down to smote me.

Also, I have brown hair so does that mean I’m not supposed to wear black? How very silly. I guess that just goes to show, rules are made to be broken. (Except my rules, of course, like my children must learn to play an instrument and give their mommy kisses everyday. Because my rules make sense.)

(Duh.)

Shirt: asymmetrical shirt, c/o Mikkat Market (different cut, but same color and sheer sleeves here)
Dress: Thakoon for Target, worn as skirt (old)
Shoes: J.Crew wedges
Tights: J.Crew
Bag: Louis Vuitton (gift from my mama)
Belt: Theory (old)
Lipstick: shu uemura warm nude 939 (discontinued) over Cle de Peau Extra Rich Lipstick T5

Blogging While Underage

I’ve spent a lot of time this week in this bed snuggling with this little bundle of snotty yumminess. Everybody’s sick in this house, but today my oldest (aka pooh bear) is back at school and piglet (above) is prancing around the house demanding SNACKS and Yubo is looking hot in a suit and the skinny tie I bought him while he goes on interviews.

I, on the other hand, am still confined to my bed.

I’m sick and have in fact been in bed wearing the same sweats and Yubo’s long-sleeve shirt since Wednesday night when I came home from class and threw myself into bed. I knew I was sick by Tuesday night, but I had promised a friend I would teach her freshman composition class about blogging for a blog project they have and then I had a seminar class in the evening. It just doesn’t do to let down your friends or miss the first day of a class. Still, by Wednesday night I felt like crawling into the fetal position and crying about how much I hurt. I missed work Thursday morning and today I’m missing volunteering in my son’s class and lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in months. I hate missing things, but it hurts to move right now and, besides, there’s no reason to infect my students, a classroom full of six-year-olds, and my poor friend. At least that’s what I’m telling myself to make myself feel better.

Even though I probably should have been in bed, the blogging lesson I gave for my friend’s class was pretty fascinating. Not so much my lesson, but the perspective of the students I was teaching. In a lot of ways, the generation of kids coming of age right now have lives that are much more technology integrated. When I was in high school, everybody had pagers and memorized “pager code” (143 637! right? anyone?), AOL was still king of the internet (“You’ve got mail!”), I could sing along with the noise that the dial-up made when it was trying to connect to the internet, and over the summer I got in trouble for hanging out in AIM chat rooms. Now there’s twitter and facebook and blogs and the internet is wireless and you’re online as soon as you turn on your computer. Internet is on your phone and actual books, newspapers, and magazines are being hailed as things of the past. (To which I solemnly declare – NEVER!)

So when I agreed to teach my friend’s class of nineteen year olds about blogging, I expected my instruction to be at least somewhat redundant. I mean, setting up a blog isn’t that much more complicated than setting up a facebook account, is it? (Fun fact: I had a blog for years before I set up a facebook account. Actually, I had a blog before facebook existed.) And even if I didn’t expect most of the students to actually write a blog, I did assume that they read blogs. Interestingly enough, NONE of them had ever written a blog. One of them read a non-tumbr blog on a regular basis (a blog on a molecular biology, as that’s his major – I thought that was pretty cool!). Two more of them knew what tumblr was and occasionally read tumblr blogs. The other dozen and a half of them – nothing. So has blogging become passe amongst the so-called internet generation?

I look at the blogosphere today and it seems to me to be vibrant, diverse, and constantly evolving. When I started blogging (circa 2001, baby!), my blog was basically a very literal interpretation of the medium – my private diary made public. Public in that my mother and my best friend read it, at least. It was a lot of angst and posts consisting entirely of angsty quotes. (Forgive me, I was young.) After I became pregnant with my son in 2005, my husband and I started a baby blog to share our lives with our far-flung friends and relatives, but in a totally unexpected turn of events, strangers started reading our blog. Strangers who wrote blogs themselves. And then suddenly, there I was, plugged right into the whole mommy (and daddy) blogging thing. Not long after, I and some of the women I had “met” via blogging started Kimchi Mamas, which continues today as a place for mothers of Korean American children to share, discuss, debate, and reflect. My next blog was another personal blog, part mommy blog, part design/fashion blog, and meanwhile I picked up professional blogging gigs writing about fashion and parenting. And after an extended blogging hiatus, now there’s this, my newest blog project, which is much more compartmentalized but which reflects an ongoing passion and interest of mine.

I’m not sure why my friend’s students don’t read blogs. My teaching partner, who is ten years younger than me and so is much closer in age to those (and our) students, reads blogs. I know because he was wearing a hyperbole and a half t-shirt one day and we got to talking. (He was also wearing a Harry Potter t-shirt the day I met him, which automatically endeared him to me forever and ever.) At some point this semester, the professor of our class has committed me to teaching blogging for our class so I guess I’ll have another sample from which to ponder this quandary.

I think blogs are such an amazing medium for self-expression, and I think that using them as part of a composition class makes a lot of sense. I hope that after their writing class is over, they’ll return to blogging to write about something they’re interested in – music or fashion or baking or molecular biology. There are very few barriers to self-expression when it comes to blogging, which is part of the beauty of it, and I’m glad that I could be part of taking one more barrier down. Here’s a blog, here’s how to set one up, here’s how to write a post, add pictures, publish.

In the spirit of teaching young people (oi, when I did I become old enough to teach “young people” things??) about blogging, here are a few of my favorite blogs written by high school and college-aged people:

style rookie – now a sophomore in high school, Tavi Gevinson has been blogging since she was 11. ELEVEN. And yes, like with all prodigious children, it’s easy to laser in on the AMAZING YOUTHFUL AGE NUMBER and the fact that she sits front row at fashion shows and has appeared on Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me (okay, is it just me – public radio nerd – that is wildly impressed with this particular factoid?). Also, she has her own online magazine for teens called Rookie Mag, which is all kinds of awesome – the kind of thing that I wish had been around when I was her age. But mostly, she’s got that rare quality of creativity and confidence that most teenagers and even most fully-grown adults (raising my hand) still struggle with. She’s got a unique perspective and it’s beautiful and weird and I can’t say I always get it, but it’s always, always interesting.

new tiger in town – a blog by Sophia Chua-Rubenfield, the daughter of the debated-to-death Tiger Mom. Sophia is whip smart and attending Harvard (no surprises there), but she’s also got a great sense of humor and her voice is a winning mix of maturity, idealism, and irreverence.

La Vagabond Dame – Natalie is seventeen, and her winter formal dress? was amazing. Her blog is a new find of mine, and I love her style. At some point it’s going to become weird (or weirder) to be taking style tips from a seventeen-year-old, but I think (hope?) I can still get away with it for a few more years.

the aftermath of rainbows and unicorns – Sam lost her mother and her older brother on 9/11, and has basically raised herself and her two little sisters since then. She’s a college student now, and she’s amazing. Hard-working, pragmatic, thoughtful, protective. I’m pretty much blown over in admiration for her every time I read her blog.

I Was A Foster Kid – LT was a foster kid. She’s been through hell, and she’s fighting her way out. She’s smart, articulate, and has a huge and tender heart. Her blog is both heartbreaking and inspiring.

Do you read any blogs by teenagers or young adults? Or are you a student with a blog who breaks my unscientific sample of college freshmen?

Happily Overdressed

Today was my first official day back at work after the break. Since I work at a university (the same one where I attend graduate school), most of my colleagues dress pretty casually. And it’s not like I don’t ever just throw on my favorite pair of jeans and a comfy hoodie, but I really enjoy dressing up so I try to take every opportunity.

When I was staying at home with my children during their earliest years, it was so easy for me to stop caring about myself. Motherhood during those first few years was almost indescribably beautiful and moving, but it was also utterly absorbing. Without really realizing it, I poured my whole self into the raising of my children and while I’m so glad I was able to do it, I think I sort of lost sight of my self as a whole, individual person.

I’m still working on it, but going back to school was part of me reclaiming some sense of balance.

Another part, as frivolous as it may seem in the grand scheme of things, is this. Fashion. Beauty. Clothes. Makeup. Painting my nails and (I’m loathe to admit) showering regularly again. While I concede the frivolity of fashion in the grand scheme of things, it makes me happy. It’s fun.

When I dress up, I feel beautiful and confident and strong. Not that I don’t feel those things when I come home and change into sweats and wipe off my lipstick, but that’s just the thing. Home is the place where I am safe, and that’s where I was for the greater part of four years. Now I go out into the world, and I enjoy the experience of creating myself for the world, so to speak.

Moving on from the philosophizing and on to the clothes! The jacket I’m wearing is a beautiful opera jacket by Dolce & Gabanna that my mama bought on sale some time ago, but then didn’t end up liking for her. It’s convenient that she has a daughter, is it not? The sleeves are so perfectly poofy at the wrists – I just love it.

Jacket: Dolce & Gabbana black silk satin opera jacket (hand-me-down from my mama), similar (with cropped sleeves) here
Shirt: J.Crew
Skirt: Anthropologie
Tights: J.Crew
Shoes: J.Crew glitter oxford ballet flats
Purse: vintage, worn as clutch (from ebay)
Sunglasses: Chanel (hand-me-down from my mama)
Nail Polish: essie watermelon