The Borrowed Closet

When I was younger, I always wanted a sister. I imagined a playmate that would share my enthusiasm for dolls and dress-up and all things girly that my brothers vehemently eschewed. I imagined a confidante who would stay up late with me in a neighboring bed sharing giggles and gossip. And I imagined somebody who I could fight with over a shared wardrobe, just like sisters always seemed to do on television. Alas, ’twas not to be.

By the time I was in high school, however, I realized I didn’t really need a sister.

I had my mom instead.

I know that parents who try to be friends with their children rather than authority figures is kind of a cultural flashpoint, but my mama really has always unequivocally been both my mother (I definitely did not call her by her first name) and my best friend. And now that I’m an adult and can understand so much more of who she is as a person, I feel even closer to her and depend upon her advice and wisdom that much more.

One of the great side benefits of having such an awesome mom is that there is a lot of overlap in our aesthetics and sense of style, and she’s always happy to let me raid her closet.

This weekend Yubo was out of town for work so the kids and I spent most of the weekend at my parents’ house, and my mama was kind enough to let me borrow this chic Carolina Herrera coat, her favorite Marni purse, and this black cashmere turtleneck. I feel really lucky to be able to wear such nice things, most of which would be out of my reach otherwise, and I know my mama likes to see me wearing her clothes. That’s the nice thing about borrowing from your mom rather than your sister. My mama never resents me for borrowing her clothes, and – at least on TV – sisters seem to get mad about that sort of thing.

My poor dad, on the other hand, always goes a little bug-eyed when he sees me making off with something of my mom’s. I think he worries I won’t come back with it, but I really always do!

Anyway, I wore this outfit to work today and then to pick up the children from school. It was really cold in the morning and looked like it was going to rain, but by the time I left work it was hot and sunny. I was kind of dying in the jacket and turtleneck while taking these pictures.

At work today I taught my students how to respond to other people’s ideas in a persuasive essay and how to transition from other people’s ideas to your own and from one topic to another. I created a handout on responding and then wrote a sample paragraph on health care reform. They were asked to break apart the paragraph, identifying transition words and phrases and labeling different parts of the paragraph (i.e. topic sentence, analysis, counter-argument, etc.). Then they were given time to work on their own essays (while hopefully practicing some of these transitioning skills). I was really kind of proud of the whole lesson, and from the questions I was getting while the students were working on their papers, I felt like they were getting what I was trying to teach them.

So that was fun!

I find that I really, really enjoy teaching. I guess even though I always wanted to teach in some capacity, I didn’t really know if I would like it or be good at it. It’s nice to finally be doing something that feels like it fits.

Coat: Carolina Herrera navy wool and cashmere peacoat (from my mama’s closet)
Top: Neiman Marcus black cashmere turtleneck (from my mama’s closet)
Vest: Moyna lace vest from Anthropologie (old)
Jeans: Pilcro skinny jeans from Anthropologie (old)
Shoes: Modcloth wedges
Purse: Marni (from my mama’s closet)
Accessories: pearl necklace (gift from grandmother), dogeared heart necklace
Nail Polish: essie licorice and deborah lippmann shake your groove thing
Lipstick: Cle de Peau Lipstick 16 and Chanel Gossimer Wild Rose (119)

Weather Confusion

It feels as if LA can’t decide whether it wants it to be winter – cold and blustery with rainclouds perpetually threatening – or spring. The flowering trees and bushes in front of our house are in full, triumphant bloom. This weekend and yesterday were balmy in the high 70s. Today, however, was cold. (But, you know, LA-cold, which is, um, in the 50s? Don’t laugh. I’m an Angeleno. It’s my right to complain when the weather dips below 65 degrees.)

So, anyway, this is all to say that even though I was wearing a coat and a scarf today, I was very cold. I really don’t like being cold! This is the whole reason why I can’t move away from Los Angeles, and then it has to go play this dirty weather trick on me.

Harumph.

Enough about the weather, yes? This is what I wore to work today to conference with students. This skirt I’m wearing is pretty awesome. I love the little white leather circles that are sewn in layers on the skirt panel. It feels fun and feathery (alliteration!). And I was so excited that all I needed for work today was a folder full of essays and a purse. Usually I’m dragging several folders, a few books, maybe my laptop, various school supplies, plus all of the stuff that always goes in my purse.

After work, I went to pick up my boys at school.

I’ve set up a new points/rewards system for my eldest son so he was all eager to get home and start his homework. It was rather entertaining.

Basically, he gets a point (indicated on a calendar by a sticker) for fulfilling various responsibilities; homework and piano practice are the main ones, but he can also get points for reading a book or doing extra math worksheets or being caught doing something particularly good. I thought about adding points for doing chores such as setting the table or cleaning up his toys or making his bed, but he’s still at the age where he’s really eager to help around the house so I figured if it ain’t broke, why fix it?

The points he earns can be exchanged for limited amounts of “screen time” (TV or games on the ipad) or other small rewards. He seems pretty motivated.

Most days I have to do quite a bit of cajoling to get him to start on his homework and practice piano, but today he had done everything within an hour of getting home. An hour after that, he had done 4 pages of a math workbook and read a book. I had to insist that he stop and go play.

Coat: Burberry (also worn here)
Shirt: Mikkat Market (also worn here and here)
Skirt: Zara white leather skirt
Tights: J.Crew
Shoes: Modcloth
Bag: Modcloth
Accessories: Esprit outlet scarf (old), silver bow hair clip (gift from my mama), Herkimer diamond earrings from Principessa (gift from Yubo), Dogeared heart necklace
Nail Polish: essie licorice and deborah lippmann shake your groove thing
Lipstick: NARS Jungle Red lip liner and Red Lizard lipstick

Maxi Pleated Skirt

I feel like I’ve been looking for this exact skirt my whole life, and I finally found it this past weekend.

I spent the weekend with my girlfriends in Santa Monica. We’ve been putting a little bit of money in a pot each time we meet in the hopes that at the end of a year we would have enough to pay for the six of us to spend the weekend together at a hotel. I’m so glad we did because our weekend together was so much fun!

After some shopping on the Promenade, we had dinner at Musha on Wilshire Boulevard. It was seriously, seriously good. You need to go there. Order the lobster roll, yellowtail sashimi, and the risotto. (I’m salivating just remembering how good it was!)

I spotted this skirt at Zara on the Promenade while we were making our way to dinner. I’ve wanted a skirt like this forever, and I knew when I saw it in the store that it was perfect.

I wore it to work today, and my teaching partner commented on how fun it looked to walk in. And it is! I love how it swishes when I walk and how the wind plays with the fabric. I do have to be careful not to step on the hem when I’m walking up and down stairs, but that’s fun in a way as well. I’m not used to wearing long skirts, and there’s something nostalgic and romantic about the total impracticality of daintily holding up one’s skirt as you climb or descend a set of stairs. It makes me feel so very lovely.

I love this cloche hat too. I used to never feel comfortable wearing hats, but when I cut my hair super short a couple of years ago, I started experimenting with hats and other hair accessories. As it turns out, I really do like hats.

This one is made out of jute with a black grosgrain ribbon. While I love the vintage shape of the hat, I feel like the wide stripe gives it a more modern feel too. Still, I feel like this whole outfit has a very 1920s vibe, which is definitely a good thing in my book.

And I think this is one of the first outfits I’ve posted on this blog where I haven’t worn black as the dominant color, but just as an accent. I’m kind of proud of myself! My friend was telling me this weekend about how she’s trying to step out of wearing so much black by incorporating more grey into her wardrobe, which I thought was pretty funny, but it’s true! Black always looks good!

Isn’t the skirt just so pretty?? *sigh*

Shirt: Zara peter pan collared blouse
Sweater: Rag & Bone sweatshirt (hand-me-down from my mama)
Jacket: Madewell (also worn here and here)
Skirt: Zara pleated maxi skirt
Shoes: J.Crew
Hat: Anthropologie cloche hat (old)
Accessories: Mikimoto pearls (hand-me-down from my mother-in-law), field guided canvas bag
Nail Polish: essie licorice and deborah lippmann shake your groove thing
Lipstick: NARS Jungle Red lip liner and Red Lizard lipstick

Blue Bow Belt

I was up for a good chunk of last night with my youngest son who came down with stomach flu yesterday so I had a hard time waking up this morning. I finally dragged myself out of bed about 10 minutes before I usually leave the house for work so I had barely enough time to throw on some clothes and dash out the door. I did my makeup in the car (does it make it better if I tell you I save my eye makeup for red lights?) and, to my dismay, I got a parking ticket at school today because in the rush this morning I had forgotten to switch my pass from my husband’s car, which I drove yesterday, to my car.

So yes, wrong side of bed today and all that.

Still, I absolutely love my job; it’s hands-down the most rewarding and enjoyable job I’ve ever had so this morning wasn’t a complete wash in the least. I started one-on-one conferencing with my students on their papers this morning as well, and that’s one of my favorite parts of teaching writing. You can do so much with a student one-on-one that just isn’t possible in a large group.

Except for brief periods where I wanted to be a ballerina (tutus! need I say more?), a singer (I have had a longtime and ongoing infatuation with female singer-songwriters), and a lawyer (like my mama!), I’ve really always wanted to be a teacher. I adored nearly all my teachers growing up, and the idealist in me has always wanted to do something that made a difference in the world for good. In my last year of college I was actually applying to teaching credential/education MA programs with the goal of becoming a high school English teacher, but the birth of my first child sort of derailed those plans. In the past several years, I’ve tried a few other careers, but nothing seemed to fit. So it makes me really happy now to be doing something that I not only believe in, but I really, really enjoy.

Since I was in such a rush this morning, I wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular when I threw my outfit together this morning, but I like how it ended up. I nearly always try to buy clothes that I know I can mix and match with other items in my closet. You know those magazine articles that show how you can wear one shirt 5 different ways? That’s how I think when I shop. If I can’t imagine several ways an item can be worn then it really has no business in my closet to begin with.

I’ve never really worn belts before this year so I’m hesitant to buy them because I’m not always sure how or what to wear them with. This little blue bow belt was an impulse buy last year during one of Nordstom’s big annual sales, and I almost regretted buying it after it hung in my closet unworn for months afterward. Lately, though, I think I’m getting the hang of this whole belt thing.

I think belts and other accessories are great ways to incorporate trends without a big commitment. For instance, neon colors are really big right now, but no matter how much I love these uber-popular neon bags from The Cambridge Satchel Company, I can’t afford to spend that much on something that I’m not ready to commit to wearing for the next 10 years at least. But this neon yellow belt from J.Crew? I think I could splurge on that (maybe next month though?), and I know I could wear it a ton of different ways. And then the canvas bag I’m wearing from fieldguided is a nice little nod to neon without being totally overwhelming or breaking the bank.

I’ve talked about this before, I think, but that’s part of why I really like nail polish as well. Not only is nail polish just plain fun, but it’s an easy, low-commitment way of incorporating bright and silly colors. I don’t like manicures (I know, I’m weird) so I buy my own polish and paint my nails myself. It’s not always never super perfect, but I feel better about buying one new nail polish color a month than I would about getting a manicure every few weeks.

My mama, however, is always a little appalled by my nail color choices, I think. I admit that perhaps I take a little teeny bit of pleasure in her mildly disapproving “tsk tsks” though. Maybe in another ten years I’ll have completely grown out of this little bit of post-teenage rebellion.

And then on the opposite spectrum are my pearls, a wedding gift from my grandmother, that I know I’ll be wearing when my own grandchildren are getting married. My grandmother originally bought me a very, very long string of freshwater pearls, which she then had split into two lengths – the long one I’m wearing now with a pearl shortener clasp (also a gift from my grandmother) that makes it a few inches shorter than it would be otherwise – and a choker length necklace that I wore on my wedding day. As a set I can wear them so many different ways.

Shirt: Mikkat Market (also worn here)
Dress: laurie b. cashmere and tulle shift, worn as skirt (also worn here)
Tights: J.Crew
Shoes: J.Crew
Bag: fieldguided
Accessories: Nordstrom blue leather skinny bow belt (similar at Forever 21), Forever 21 bow hair clip (old), pearls (gift from grandmother) worn with pearl shortener clasp (similar here), Herkimer diamond earrings from Principessa (gift from Yubo)
Nail Polish: essie turqoise and caicos
Lipstick: NARS Dragon Girl Velvet Matte Lip Pencil

Blogging While Underage

I’ve spent a lot of time this week in this bed snuggling with this little bundle of snotty yumminess. Everybody’s sick in this house, but today my oldest (aka pooh bear) is back at school and piglet (above) is prancing around the house demanding SNACKS and Yubo is looking hot in a suit and the skinny tie I bought him while he goes on interviews.

I, on the other hand, am still confined to my bed.

I’m sick and have in fact been in bed wearing the same sweats and Yubo’s long-sleeve shirt since Wednesday night when I came home from class and threw myself into bed. I knew I was sick by Tuesday night, but I had promised a friend I would teach her freshman composition class about blogging for a blog project they have and then I had a seminar class in the evening. It just doesn’t do to let down your friends or miss the first day of a class. Still, by Wednesday night I felt like crawling into the fetal position and crying about how much I hurt. I missed work Thursday morning and today I’m missing volunteering in my son’s class and lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in months. I hate missing things, but it hurts to move right now and, besides, there’s no reason to infect my students, a classroom full of six-year-olds, and my poor friend. At least that’s what I’m telling myself to make myself feel better.

Even though I probably should have been in bed, the blogging lesson I gave for my friend’s class was pretty fascinating. Not so much my lesson, but the perspective of the students I was teaching. In a lot of ways, the generation of kids coming of age right now have lives that are much more technology integrated. When I was in high school, everybody had pagers and memorized “pager code” (143 637! right? anyone?), AOL was still king of the internet (“You’ve got mail!”), I could sing along with the noise that the dial-up made when it was trying to connect to the internet, and over the summer I got in trouble for hanging out in AIM chat rooms. Now there’s twitter and facebook and blogs and the internet is wireless and you’re online as soon as you turn on your computer. Internet is on your phone and actual books, newspapers, and magazines are being hailed as things of the past. (To which I solemnly declare – NEVER!)

So when I agreed to teach my friend’s class of nineteen year olds about blogging, I expected my instruction to be at least somewhat redundant. I mean, setting up a blog isn’t that much more complicated than setting up a facebook account, is it? (Fun fact: I had a blog for years before I set up a facebook account. Actually, I had a blog before facebook existed.) And even if I didn’t expect most of the students to actually write a blog, I did assume that they read blogs. Interestingly enough, NONE of them had ever written a blog. One of them read a non-tumbr blog on a regular basis (a blog on a molecular biology, as that’s his major – I thought that was pretty cool!). Two more of them knew what tumblr was and occasionally read tumblr blogs. The other dozen and a half of them – nothing. So has blogging become passe amongst the so-called internet generation?

I look at the blogosphere today and it seems to me to be vibrant, diverse, and constantly evolving. When I started blogging (circa 2001, baby!), my blog was basically a very literal interpretation of the medium – my private diary made public. Public in that my mother and my best friend read it, at least. It was a lot of angst and posts consisting entirely of angsty quotes. (Forgive me, I was young.) After I became pregnant with my son in 2005, my husband and I started a baby blog to share our lives with our far-flung friends and relatives, but in a totally unexpected turn of events, strangers started reading our blog. Strangers who wrote blogs themselves. And then suddenly, there I was, plugged right into the whole mommy (and daddy) blogging thing. Not long after, I and some of the women I had “met” via blogging started Kimchi Mamas, which continues today as a place for mothers of Korean American children to share, discuss, debate, and reflect. My next blog was another personal blog, part mommy blog, part design/fashion blog, and meanwhile I picked up professional blogging gigs writing about fashion and parenting. And after an extended blogging hiatus, now there’s this, my newest blog project, which is much more compartmentalized but which reflects an ongoing passion and interest of mine.

I’m not sure why my friend’s students don’t read blogs. My teaching partner, who is ten years younger than me and so is much closer in age to those (and our) students, reads blogs. I know because he was wearing a hyperbole and a half t-shirt one day and we got to talking. (He was also wearing a Harry Potter t-shirt the day I met him, which automatically endeared him to me forever and ever.) At some point this semester, the professor of our class has committed me to teaching blogging for our class so I guess I’ll have another sample from which to ponder this quandary.

I think blogs are such an amazing medium for self-expression, and I think that using them as part of a composition class makes a lot of sense. I hope that after their writing class is over, they’ll return to blogging to write about something they’re interested in – music or fashion or baking or molecular biology. There are very few barriers to self-expression when it comes to blogging, which is part of the beauty of it, and I’m glad that I could be part of taking one more barrier down. Here’s a blog, here’s how to set one up, here’s how to write a post, add pictures, publish.

In the spirit of teaching young people (oi, when I did I become old enough to teach “young people” things??) about blogging, here are a few of my favorite blogs written by high school and college-aged people:

style rookie – now a sophomore in high school, Tavi Gevinson has been blogging since she was 11. ELEVEN. And yes, like with all prodigious children, it’s easy to laser in on the AMAZING YOUTHFUL AGE NUMBER and the fact that she sits front row at fashion shows and has appeared on Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me (okay, is it just me – public radio nerd – that is wildly impressed with this particular factoid?). Also, she has her own online magazine for teens called Rookie Mag, which is all kinds of awesome – the kind of thing that I wish had been around when I was her age. But mostly, she’s got that rare quality of creativity and confidence that most teenagers and even most fully-grown adults (raising my hand) still struggle with. She’s got a unique perspective and it’s beautiful and weird and I can’t say I always get it, but it’s always, always interesting.

new tiger in town – a blog by Sophia Chua-Rubenfield, the daughter of the debated-to-death Tiger Mom. Sophia is whip smart and attending Harvard (no surprises there), but she’s also got a great sense of humor and her voice is a winning mix of maturity, idealism, and irreverence.

La Vagabond Dame – Natalie is seventeen, and her winter formal dress? was amazing. Her blog is a new find of mine, and I love her style. At some point it’s going to become weird (or weirder) to be taking style tips from a seventeen-year-old, but I think (hope?) I can still get away with it for a few more years.

the aftermath of rainbows and unicorns – Sam lost her mother and her older brother on 9/11, and has basically raised herself and her two little sisters since then. She’s a college student now, and she’s amazing. Hard-working, pragmatic, thoughtful, protective. I’m pretty much blown over in admiration for her every time I read her blog.

I Was A Foster Kid – LT was a foster kid. She’s been through hell, and she’s fighting her way out. She’s smart, articulate, and has a huge and tender heart. Her blog is both heartbreaking and inspiring.

Do you read any blogs by teenagers or young adults? Or are you a student with a blog who breaks my unscientific sample of college freshmen?

Slouchy Style

Today was my first day back at work. It’s hard to describe my job because it’s really sort of an odd gig. I guess it’s kind of like the TA-led discussion sections I had for large lectures in undergrad. Regardless, it was nice to see my students again even if they didn’t appear quite as excited as I was about returning to class. Because of that, we played an ice breaker game to ease the transition and I gave them candy.

Candy makes everything better. Except, I guess, your teeth.

This outfit just feels very slouchy to me, like everything is just hanging off my body. But not in a bad way, I hope. The tie-front blouse from Mikkat Market I’m wearing is one of my favorite pieces. I wear it with nearly everything; it’s very versatile. And I love the color of the BCBG Max Azria scarf I’m wearing. It’s actually two-tone with a bright pink-orange coral and then a more pale and subtle pink.

(I’m on the phone! Yubo called me mid-shoot.)

For the past year and a half I’ve embraced my inner geek and used a roller briefcase at school to carry my laptop and books. I actually have scoliosis. I’m fortunate that I still look pretty symmetrical from the outside (though my x-rays tell a different story), but carrying a heavy bag on a regular basis isn’t a good idea. This semester, however, I’m trying to carry a lighter load and use a large purse or canvas bag instead of my roller bag. I used to take all my notes on my laptop, but this semester I’m going back to handwritten notes. I think I retain the information better that way anyway. I’ll still have to use the roller on days I need to lug a lot of books to and from campus, but not everyday.

This canvas bag is from Kimchi Mamas, the Korean American mothering blog that I co-founded several years ago. On the front is the image of a woman in a hanbok wagging her finger (the Kimchi Mamas logo designed by one of our contributors, halfmama) and on the back is our motto: “Burn your tongue.”

(Why, hello there, toes.)

Blouse: Mikkat Market
Shirt: J.Crew
Pants: Mikkat Market
Bag: Kimchi Mamas canvas tote bag
Shoes: Marc Jacobs (old)
Scarf: BCBG Max Azria two-tone scarf
Nail Polish: essie watermelon